It has been a lifetime of practices to learn how to care deeply for my body. It has driven me to read, study, learn, research, and practice. I have tried numerous ways of eating, but what I have realized, more than anything, is that food is not the enemy. And the body is to be valued and cared for with the utmost compassion and love.
Read MoreIs there such a thing as non-difficult times? Has any generation thought that things were going pretty smoothly? Most generations have seen horror, sadness, trauma, grief, and broken-heartedness at the state of humanity. We have seen countless wars, anger, frustration, polarities, and self-righteousness. And somewhere in between, there are glimmers of hope. A spark that rests in each person’s Soul is illuminated and yet, for myriad reasons, is covered, disavowed, and denied.
Read MoreMy husband went to an all boys boarding school back in the 80’s. This was not particularly common at that time for most midwestern kids. His experience there, in many ways, shaped the person he is today. He speaks so fondly and with such reverence for that time in his life, and the powerful impact those years had in helping him understand himself and the world. One evening he was sharing a story with me about his school, and he reminded me of his school’s motto: Aspirando et perseverando : Aspire to Persevere. He had mentioned it before, but it struck me in that moment as a most powerful statement.
What do you do when you know that something is difficult and as much as you want to stop, you don’t? I’m not talking about the kind of “grit” that gets thrown about as some sort of badass, crushing it, put your head down and GO. Not at the expense of yourself. I mean the days when you get up and your head is already aching, your mind is spinning with the items on your “to do” list, and your teeth are clenched at the stress of life. But for a moment, maybe the briefest of moments, you feel a sense of gratitude for being alive and you think to yourself, “I can do this. Whatever it is, I can do this.” It’s an inner resilience to show up for yourself with deep love and reverence.
The daily perseverance of life. The way of living by which you decide moment by moment to continue to learn, to grow and to evolve. To live with the integrity of being more aligned with the power of YOU. The you that came into this world with everything you need to make your life feel more joyful and meaningful, even in the midst of difficulty.
To persevere when what you want to do is give up and curl up in a ball and cry. To show up for yourself because you love yourself so much that there is no other option than to do the thing (whatever the thing might be). Little things and big things; persevering in the commitment to yourself in order to learn and discern.
We spend so much time aspiring, especially in our culture, but what are we aspiring to? Or for? Money? A certain body shape? A specific job, number of followers on our social media, a partner, a pose? There is nothing inherently wrong with aspiring. The motto simply states, “Aspire to persevere.” The aspiration isn’t for a thing, a specific goal or contingency to be met. The aspiration is to persevere no matter what. The wins, the losses, the frustrations and joys, the mission is to have the aspiration to stay the course and stay true to yourself. To become your own best leader and not give up on yourself. Try this motto for a bit and see if something shifts in your devotion to showing up for yourself in ways that remind you how resilient and powerful you truly are.
My old nemesis, depression, has returned like Vin Diesel in the 1970 Black Dodge Charger R/T from the Fast and Furious franchise. Just like a growling muscle car, and bad acting, the depression has come drifting into my consciousness and revving it’s engine every time I politely ask it to park in another location.
Read MoreWe live in a state of constant mental conundrum; a part of us wants to be told what to do, and a part of us doesn’t want to do what we are told. We live in a state of information overload on what we “should” be doing and then get overwhelmed and throw our hands up and say, “Forget it, I’m not doing it!” (Whatever “it” is!). Somewhere between total submission and total rebellion is our intuition.
Read MoreIt is said that in order to see the Truth of who you are, you have to get still and quiet. That’s right, still and quiet. Like literally, stop moving. Stop running. Jumping. Lifting. Sun salutation-ing. It’s not that any of those things are inherently bad. We need to move to keep our bodies and minds healthy. But we lack the ability to embrace our stillness; to embrace the quiet and the peace that comes with this ability to get still and KNOW.
Know what, exactly? To know the Truth of who you are without your perceived achievements or failures. In each moment and in each transition, it is YOU that shows up. But how do you know who that is? We tend to believe that we are our titles, our stories, and our past. The ancient traditions teach us that the outer world is not where we will find the essence of who we truly are. It is only in the quiet and in the stillness where you meet yourself, and gain precious access into the Truth of your being.
You may have been taught that who you are is based on your accomplishments. Our society lauds productivity and constant goal-setting and we are constantly mesmerized by the world around us. Our phones are like a dopamine drip! In our distractions and avoidances, we miss the inner wisdom, the inner joy, the bright spark of the Divine that rests within us always. We try to find ways to fill what we are simply not seeing. We believe that if we work harder we will see this inner Truth revealed. It’s as if we need to push ourselves harder and harder to see our capability. I am guilty of this too; of believing that an arbitrary goal will allow me to see who I really am and what I’m made of. It’s not that goals are inherently bad, but when these goals become the only driving forces in our lives, we lose sight of our ability to know who actually wants this goal and why we want it.
Here’s what I propose: get still, get quiet, and do it every day. Remember who you are. Find stillness, even in the transitions; pause before you send the text, stop for a breath before eating a meal, before you get in the shower, or even in the middle of a run. The stillness, the quiet, is the reminder to check back in with who you already are. Remove the layers of achievements and “doing” that obscures and fragments your ability to see the light in your heart. All of the things that you like to do in the outer world (Prakriti) will still be there after you have had a chance to visit with your highest Self (Purusha). Soon enough, the desire to have time in stillness with your Truth will become stronger than the pull for the next big thing. It is in the quiet where you will KNOW and that knowing will inform everything else about how you move through the world.
In your best health and with love,
Betsy
Please refer to these links where I have been featured as a guest on these podcasts:
In this podcast I had the distinct pleasure to talk to Sam, Jim, and Sarah where we really let the conversation flow organically about zen, overcoming our obstacles, and singing in a band!
The Optimization Toolbox Podcast/YouTube
Conversation with Jenna Redfield about the how, when, why and what of meditation for better mental health and better living.
A deep dive discussion with Alexandra Zauner about the power of meditation to change our relationship with ourselves and with the world.
In this episode, a bit of my experience struggling with Orthorexia and disordered eating and how meditation, mindfulness, and yoga Nidra have helped me navigate to a place of wellness. This important discussion also debunks the idea of “clean” eating, obsessing about food and nutrition, and learning how to trust your intuition again.
It was really an honor and a privilege to be able to be featured on this bonus episode of The Art of Living Well to talk about how to get started in your meditation practice. There is no one right way to begin but there are some ways to set yourself up for success! Take a listen and let me know what you think. And keep up the good work taking such good care of yourself!
If we know that something is good for us, why don’t we just do it? We know that we should eat lots of fruits and vegetables, that we should move our bodies regularly and drink water, that we should meditate and try to be mindful, and of course, get lots of rest. It would seem that knowing would equate to doing. However, it rarely goes that way. The tendency is to ebb and flow, where we embark for a period of time down a road of good health, or changing detrimental behaviors, and then like a rubber band we snap back and cannot seem to figure out how we ended up back in the same place again.
I propose mental flossing. That’s right, pick up the floss, and let’s see if we can get rid of the mental plaque that has built up and is keeping us stuck. We all know that we are supposed to floss our teeth; ah yes, another thing we know we are supposed to do! Mental floss is different, mental flossing is the work of attentive breathing and mindful awareness. It is through these techniques that we create the friction, (just like floss between tight teeth), and remove the plaque of negative beliefs, old patterns of resistance, and gain precious insight and wisdom into turning what we know into what we DO.
Start with this simple exercise: practice taking 3 deep breaths before engaging in an activity that is usually mindless. Each time you inhale ask yourself, “How do I want to show up?” and each time you exhale, respond, “I choose presence, right here and right now.” The stopping is the way to get rid of old habits (plaque) that are keeping you stuck. This is the friction (mental floss); the resistance to thoughts that push our behavior away from what we know into the mindlessness of what we often do. Whatever and wherever you choose, integrate the practice. From this awareness you can start to make conscious choices that are aligned with what you know will guide you to your best health and to thriving in mind, body, and spirit.
Remember that repression is never a good idea, and willpower is finite! However, breathing and awareness are simple ways to integrate more mindfulness and presence into each and every moment of every day. Anytime you choose, you can break out the mental floss and find more clarity and inner wisdom. Here’s to flossing!
As a tried and true Minnesotan, our Minnesota State Fair is the sign that our Summer is officially coming to an end. These twelve days of “The Fair” are filled with conversations just about everywhere like: “Hey, are you going to the Fair this year? When do you like to go? What is your favorite food to eat? Where do you like to park? I hope the weather will hold for the Fair.” Needless to say, it is pretty much what is on the mind of many, if not most Minnesotans. Every year we have record breaking attendance from the year before, which means every trip to the Fair now means the traffic is worse, the lines longer for parking (if you can find a spot!), the lines longer for EVERYTHING. And really, what it also means is lots and lots of people. I mean, masses of humanity. For someone who struggles a bit with large crowds, it also signals the beginning of what I call “Fair Anxiety”.
Read MoreYou are not toxic. You do not need a cleanse, or a detox. There is nothing wrong with you.
You are being sold a false premise. The “wellness” industry wants you to believe that you and your body are inherently dirty, filthy, unclean and definitely in need of some sort of process of eliminating all kinds of toxins. As a “wellness” professional and as someone who struggled over the years with orthorexia (the fear of eating anything that wasn’t deemed “clean” or “healthy”), these concepts can be incredibly unhealthy and even harmful. There are companies making billions of dollars off the premise of your perceived inability to detoxify. But really, what does that mean?
Read MoreOur brain perceives such a small amount of the world, and all of its perceptions are filtered through our own ideas, stories, experiences and memories. These constructs are filtered again through our ego and we simply believe whatever we are seeing or experiencing in the material world as truth. But what if reality was something different?
Read More
What would it feel like to have your whole person integrated? We segregate our lives into sections that don’t give us the full picture of who we are. Our ego, our “I-ness” attaches itself to labels and limitations that were put in motion from childhood. How do we free ourselves from the stories that we believe define who we are?
Meditation. Yeah, you knew that was coming. Our sense organs can only do so much. We can see, touch, feel or think something (or multiple things) but is that really our true Self? These things change over time; our bodies, our likes and dislikes, our thoughts and beliefs, and we can only think about them with the limited mindset that we have at any given moment.
Connecting with the part of us that remains unchanged is the key to unwinding the identities that we create for ourselves. Once we have the experience of the Self that rests in the infinite, that is unchanging no matter what is happening around us, we can get a different perspective and view on what our Truth really is.
For most of us, our reality is a combination of our daily, stimulated life, and perhaps brief glimpses into our eternal, infinite realm of pure essence. Likely it’s more of the former and less of the latter.
Tantra teaches us that these two worlds are merging all the time. The integration of our spiritual world with our material world is one that can lead us towards more freedom and fulfillment. Neither realm is “good” or “bad”. There is a belief that everything is a manifestation of the Divine (you already knew that because there are dogs, avocados, and peanut butter). The point is, do your best to integrate the YOU that you know you are at the core of your being with the you that is out in the world every day. The more aligned they are, the more peaceful and fulfilled you will be.
In the meantime, keep meditating, and keep noticing the sunshine on your face, and the sound of the rain, and even the person that cut you off in traffic. They are all part of this beautiful web of life and integrating all of it is there for you at any time.
In your best health and with love,
Betsy
How do we walk through the world? Are we cognizant of how we are treating those we interact with each day? We learned the Golden Rule at a young age: “Do unto others as you would do unto yourself.”
Read MoreThe point is, and it has been discussed before, that everything we see is not as it seems. When we watch television or a movie, we relinquish our relationship to reality to be entertained. When we scroll through social media, we have to remind ourselves that it too is not a representation of reality.
Read MoreSeriously, how many articles have you read on how to eat? What to eat? When to eat? Should you eat raw? Vegan? Pescetarian? Paleo? Vegetarian? Primal? FODMAP? GAPS? Mediterranean? Gluten-free? Dairy-free? Sugar-free? Oh my goodness, why does eating have to be so confusing?
When most people hear the word tantra, they think of sex. While there is a branch of tantric practice that involves very detailed sexual practices, that is not the whole story and definitely not what this article is about. Let’s keep our clothes on while I give you a brief description of a completely different understanding of tantra and, more specifically, Parayoga.
Read More
